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Empty Bottles, Broken Hearts [entries|friends|calendar]
killbabykill

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Awesome. [Monday
June 26th, 2006
@ 6:04pm]
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Me and my dudes. Real update and layout revamp soon to follow. I think I'm gonna start using this thing on a regular basis again.
4pintspints of guinness make you strong

Stop. [Wednesday
May 17th, 2006
@ 2:59am]
ARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

That is all.
pints of guinness make you strong

L.A.M.F. [Friday
May 12th, 2006
@ 2:47am]
Too much junkie business.

PS. F U

PSS. Also...I'm drunk.

PSSS. Also....I need some.

PSSSS. Up the punx hahahahaha

Baby talk is talk.

Little London boys.

Johnny Thunders. Yep.

And the HeartBREAKERS.

Love,
Jess
pints of guinness make you strong

I spend so much of my life convincing myself that everything is okay. [Wednesday
April 26th, 2006
@ 1:42am]
Sometimes I feel like I want to throw up and then die and I'm not QUITE sure why.
2pintspints of guinness make you strong

Yup. [Monday
April 24th, 2006
@ 2:40am]
My phone rang this morning while I was asleep at Brian's. I jerked out of my sleep really fast when it went off, and smacked my face full force against the wall. I think I broke my nose. Okay, not really but it's achey. Maybe it's really broken though and I can use that as an excuse to get it trimmed a little haha!

I'm surprised my body didn't completely shut down after the ridiculous cocktail of substances I put in it on Thursday night. It was fun, but I think I need to stay in more often. I'm into keeping house lately, being a little housewifey.

I've become friends with this dude I used to have a huge crush on when I was like fourteen, but I was so painfully shy I could like barely talk to him. And the funny thing is, he's so totally shy! I'm trying to hook him up with this chick I know and he's clueless! Funnyfunnyfunny. When you're fourteen you build these guys you have crushes on to these gigantic proportions and meanwhile they're pretty dorky, just like you.

There are a lot of shitty people in the world. I don't even get why some people do and say the things they do. It just doesn't seem like there's any reason for it. It seems like life has a way of catching up with them though. Karma. Sometimes I love it.

My apartment smells like cigarettes hardcore because Brian and Phantom were here. (Not that I wasn't involved in that too). I overheard an interesting conversation today. It made me feel good because of what it meant in terms of things he's said, and sort of worried because of things he's done in the past. I dunno. Same deal as always haha. I wish he was here to snuggle up with me now that I'm tired and I want to go to bed. I guess Binx will have to do in his place.

Love,
Jess
pints of guinness make you strong

[Tuesday
April 18th, 2006
@ 12:31am]
I'm not quite sure how this week could get any worse, but I sure as hell hope it doesn't. Ugh.
1pintpints of guinness make you strong

WTF??? [Wednesday
April 12th, 2006
@ 3:28am]
You can buy me to put on your cellphone!? On freaking JAMSTER, the most annoying thing ever???

http://www.jamster.com/jcw/search/searchContentDetails.do?componentTypes=3&keywords=suicide%20girls&title=&interpret=&exactSearch=false&group=&display=standard&usage=user&oc=1&keywords=suicide%20girls&title=&interpret=&exactSearch=false&group=&display=standard&usage=user&oc=1

And apparently it's also on Verizon and Sprint...

And why am I not getting paid for this????

Ack!
13pintspints of guinness make you strong

OMG [Monday
April 10th, 2006
@ 1:34am]
I'm happy.

Seriously.

Write this down, because since when does this happen?

I'm at a point in my life where I feel pretty much chill with my love life, my friends, my artistic ability, where my life is going.

I dig it.

I mean, I wouldn't mind having a bit more money....But who doesn't wish that?

Love,
Jess
2pintspints of guinness make you strong

Panda bitch. [Monday
April 3rd, 2006
@ 1:34am]
I've been in a shitty ass mood this weekend.


This makes me chuckle though.

I've been getting a bunch of design work lately. Who knew modeling on a girlie site could get you so much work? A bunch of it is unpaid stuff for fellow girls and members, but it's good nonetheless because I need to start building a portfolio. The real world is fast approaching.

Love,
Jess
pints of guinness make you strong

Grillz [Thursday
March 30th, 2006
@ 1:50am]

Me without makeup. OMGZ!!!1

Seriously, is that not the funniest picture? Look at the dude in the background!

Love,
Jess
2pintspints of guinness make you strong

I love my family. [Tuesday
March 28th, 2006
@ 10:05pm]
My mom sent me this in an email today:

"I've also been approached by a representative from a reputable NYC publisher to see if I'd be interested in writing a librarian's book or college textbook. I've told them I'm way too busy now but maybe someday....."

I'm so proud of her! That's my mommy!

Love,
Jess

PS. I'm sick. It sucks.
pints of guinness make you strong

Blerghhh. [Wednesday
March 22nd, 2006
@ 12:48am]
Tattoos! I miss you. I need you. I love you! I don't know if I can keep myself away from you much longer.

Shady people! You are fucking shady as hellllll. Stop lying to people about me. Karma will get you. Oh wait, it already did.

I get to watch my little man, Rex, this week. He's going to drive me nuts, I'm sure, but he is oh so cute.

I really don't have much to say so why am I updating? I do not know.

Over and out.

Love,
Jess
pints of guinness make you strong

One. [Saturday
March 18th, 2006
@ 1:10pm]
Congratulate me on the one year anniversary of me coming home from London.

Congratulate me for not sticking a fucking gun in my mouth, as hard as the past year has been.

Maybe it's getting better though. Maybe.

Oh, and Congratulate Tyler Samstag as well for killing 872 cops. Hahaha.

AND, you know what I hate? Fucking 20-something year old people who are soooo punk! Ugh! Grow. Up. Attempting to burn a couch at your friends' house, ashing all over their tables instead of in an ashtray, and stealing their booze is neither cool or so fuckin' punk, man! And not to mention dressing like a complete moron... The whole super-streetpunk thing should pretty much end with high school. But apparently for a lot of people it doesn't.

Love,
Jess
2pintspints of guinness make you strong

Ulcers. [Thursday
March 16th, 2006
@ 9:49pm]
I hate living by myself.
2pintspints of guinness make you strong

Argh [Tuesday
March 14th, 2006
@ 12:27am]
Ahhahaa

It's so confusing its not even funny.
pints of guinness make you strong

[Monday
March 13th, 2006
@ 1:05am]
Yesterday was a good day.

I had been upset that Brian was going to go to the movies with some friends instead of Tyler's birthday party with me. He surprised me by showing up at my work and taking me to the party. I think I shit my pants when I saw him there! It really meant sososo much to me that he did that. Jamison was there, which I thought was going to be super awkward, but it was actually fine. Brian has hated Jamison since before we were together, but they actually got to talking at the party and--gasp!--got along! It was so bizarre to see them talking but so good. At the end of the night Brian said to me, "I don't think I'm gonna feel weird about you hanging out with Jamison anymore."

But the night wasn't all good. I had no food or drink in my apartment so all I had to eat yesterday was an order of McDonald's fries and some water. Then I drank. Not a good idea. I got fucking trashed so quickly. When I got home I kept dry heaving in the bathroom because there was so little to puke up. I finally did throw up though. A little bit of french fries and a lot of blood speckled stomach bile. It hurt so much. But luckily Brian was there to sit with me and hold my hair.

Annnnd he spent the whole day with me today and we went grocery shopping together and watched ridiculous shows about UFOs and had some sweet, sweeeet lovin'.

Yay.

I am thinking I might want to move to LA someday, at least for a little while? Maybe. It's a thought.

HappyprocrastinatorCollapse )
Love,
Jess
4pintspints of guinness make you strong

Ehh. [Saturday
March 11th, 2006
@ 1:44am]
I'm pretty pissed right now. I'll get over it though. But yes...I am pissed.

And also broke. Boo.

Love,
Jess
pints of guinness make you strong

Youknowyouwantmesonnnnn [Friday
March 10th, 2006
@ 3:27am]
Totally went to 80s night.

Toally found gay dudes that I met before.

Totally fag hagged it.

Totally didn't care.

Totally love those dudes.

Totally wish boyfriend was here right now to totally eff me.

Ahh shit son.

Love,
Jess

PS. 80s night! Gay dudes! Hair bands! Too much alcohol!
2pintspints of guinness make you strong

It's painful but its worth it. [Tuesday
March 7th, 2006
@ 1:41am]
I'm in a good mood.

I'm going to go crawl in bed with Wanker McWankerson.

We are planning a crazy roadtrip for this summer. West coast here we come. Hopefully it really happens!

Goodnight.

Love,
Jess
pints of guinness make you strong

So hard to let go but I'm coming 'round. [Monday
March 6th, 2006
@ 1:09am]
I dont know I dont knowidontknowidontknow! This is odd. It's good for the first time in a long time and yet for some reason that makes me sad because it's made me realize just how bad it was before. And should I stay after all that and is it only a matter of time before a relapse? Shit goddamn. My head and my heart are both telling me to stay. But they haven't always led me in the right direction before.

Who am I kidding? WHO THE FUCK AM I KIDDING?

Am I much better? Definitely better, but probably not by THAT much. WHO. AM. I. KIDDING? I don't know if I am capable of leaving now. I don't REALLY want to. Before, back before Christmas break, I was fucking ready. It was last straw time. I was beyond the breaking point. And then he came with this being super committed shit and actually went above and beyond what I expected. (Which at that point really wasn't all that much)

There's just so much stuff I don't GET though and I feel like I need to be able to get it so I can stop dwelling on it.

In other news, get this computer away from me. It's ruining my brain and sucking my soul away.

My hair requires mass amounts of bleach right now. I'm not feeling this "natural" blonde nonsense.

I am a doll:
Image hosting by Photobucket

A lot of the time I feel so much more little girl like than most people I know who are my age. I think I just have a really different view on life and a really different emotional set up. I don't feel like elaborating right now but I felt the need to get that out.

I need a cocktail.

This sounds exactly like the past ten entries. I need to find something else to write about. I need a hobby.

Goodnight.

Love,
Jess
6pintspints of guinness make you strong

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